Crystal Ball.

I haven’t been blogging lately, reason being I’ve just had way to many emotions and didn’t want to 'over' vent and scare my fellow followers off. But I’m beginning to settle down and just accept this fatal thing we call reality. I guess you could say I “cleaned out my closet”, got rid of all the things I ‘didn’t need’, and gained things that were worth so much more. And just like old clothes against new clothes; you miss your old ones, but love the new ones and don’t regret throwing the old ones away. Giving them to someone else that suits them a lot better turned out to be the right decision. A few people will understand that, while others wont have the slightest idea. So to make it clearer; its easy to say, I’ve found better things, and it turned out, that the better things were always around, I’ve just paid more attention to them lately and I’ve realised their value. 


"I just need a compass and a willing accomplice. All my doubts that fill my head are skidding up and down again. Up and down and round again, down and up and down again. Oh, I've had my chances and I've taken them all. Just to end up right back here on the floor. To end up right back here in on the floor. Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel. Fortune teller that says maybe you will go to hell. But I'm not scared at all... The cracks in the crystal, the cracks in the crystal ball. Sometimes you think everything is wrapped inside a diamond ring. Love just needs a witness and a little forgiveness, And a halo of patience and a less sporadic pace and, I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes. Oh I've felt that fire and I've been burned. But I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned. I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned."

Your the swing set, im the kid that falls;

Everytime i see your smile it makes my hear beat fast. and though it's much too soon to tell, i'm hoping this will last. cause i just always wanna have you right here by my side. the future's near, but never certain. at least stay here for just tonight. i must've dont something right to deserve you in my life. i must've done something right along the way. i just can't get you off my mind, and why would i even try? even when i close my eyes, i dream about you all the time. i just always wanna have you right here by my side. the future's near, but never certain, so please stay here for just tonight. even if the moon fell down tonight, there'd be nothing to worry about at all because you make the whole world shine. as long as you're here everything will be alright.

oh yes, i know right, beautiful lyrics.. Its a shame how unrealistic they seem.
Bullshit Bullshit Bullshit Bullshit.

Just keep swimming; you never know whats in the water below you.

Maybe happiness is something we can only ever peruse; maybe we can never actually have it.
Sitting in this tiny little chair, listening to “gotta have you” by the weepies; its got me thinking about life and the great things that are said to come with it. Im almost certain that every brochure of life contains some form of happiness, but I think in my life, all the happiness is sucked away by the ‘fine print’. You see life is sold to us with bright colours, persuading words and promises. The bad things in life are contained in the fine print, the print no one really takes the time to read, but you see, this is the most important thing in life. These are the things, most don’t understand, there the hardest to comprehend… the bad things rarely make sense, so there usually the things we try our very best to avoid. But I guess, if the bad things is what life is, we cant really circumvent it, as such. Yet, I think the things that cause pain should have bright red “CAUTION” signs all over them; that way people wouldn’t find the need to give up. This way, I guess everything would be perfect.. but maybe that’s what we avoid? Perfection. Maybe if everything was perfect there’d be no point for anything. Because when you think about it, our communities are built off drama, conflict, bitching.. if we didn’t have it, maybe we wouldn’t have life? Its all built around the lessons, the regrets.. If we didn’t have It, maybe we wouldn’t have anything.


“You don’t know what you’ve got, till its gone”


It is so hard when certain people stop you from getting what you want, they don’t intentionally stop you, but there the reason you stop yourself, because you know it’ll hurt them. I am constantly trying to protect everyon else around me, but i never seem to protect myself.

Ahh I don’t even know anymore.. I’ve had enough venting for now.



"if i find my way, through the darkest of days, will i laugh about the things that kept me awake?"