Imbrace the greatness.

So, imagin it; nice soul music, a cheap but pleasent meal, along side a perfect couple.

Yes, i just finished work.

In some aspects work actually makes me happy. The way the restaurant fills with the smell of 'old people' on fridays, that sent that reminds you of certain special people that have been there your entire life, in my case my pop. I miss him, more then words could ever describe, and seeing the old folks smiling faces as i serve theire needs, it truly does fill my heart with contentment. Seeing all the love that doesnt look a day old, the laugher; all the joy, its beautiful. They sway side to side to 'stand by me' as i try to get gravy spills off the tables and just seeing them, so deep in eachothers eyes, its incredible. So there i was, trying to control a little boy that took the lid off the pepper shaker and was throwing the pepper around everywhere, while the love was still getting shown on the dance floor. Before i knew it i had the little boy throwing his arms each side of him, yelling in my face "COOK ME DINNER!" absolutely shocked i replied in an intimidated tone"okay", as quickly as i could! he then came into the kitchen! so, i gave him a bright red napkin, thinking "yes, this is sure to work, all little boys like colourful things", yes i was very correct, it worked, it kept him very entertained, by ripping it up into tiny little pieces and throwing it everywhere like snow! by now, i think steam would have been puffing out of each ear! but one slight glance to my right and i had my smile back on my face. I dont know why these strangers had such a great effect on me, i just think there brillant. When you think about it, there our past, our history. some of the people could have fought for our land, or served a ruler of time, it truly is astonishing. Another thing that made my night, is one of the old gents commented "its good to see theres still cacky handed people out there", i smiled and said "thats what mummy calls me" he smiled and said "do the world proud sweetheart, you'll go far", it honestly gave me goose bumps from the tips of my fingers to the very ends of my toes, i was speachless, all i could do was smile. And then of course 'brown eyed girl' by van morrison came on, which of course, once again, my pop use to sing to me..

Lets conclude it here before i get upset, but it surly was a nice evening.

Turn back time

Each night, I pray for things to go back to the way they once were. I miss the times, where there wasn’t a worry in the world, not one lack of confidence, because I knew who I was, and that is all that mattered. Im starting to figure out what really matters and who will honestly always stand by my side. It’s come to my understanding, that there is 4 people that have created the best of my memories. If I could turn back time, I’d do it all again, exactly the same. Because in the end, at some point everything was exactly the way you wanted, and if it wasn't, I learnt new things.

ASD "Captain and his ship, if you go down, i go down too"
SGS “Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone."
BLP “and even when the world stops spinning, and the sun doesn’t rise, I promise, I’ll always be by your side”
KRD “please tell me darling, why your so far away, when I need you, beside me, tonight”


Please turn back the time, so I can do it all again, with those four girls, that will always remain my best friends. Every one makes decisions that aren’t always the smartest, the wisest.. There not always the brightest. We all go down roads that we never thought we would, and some times we make choices we still cant find reason, to why we did a particular thing. But they say “never make regrets, because at one point, everything was exactly the way you wanted it to be” and that’s so true, because why do something, if you genuinely know, it’s not the right choice. And nowadays, I look back at all them memories, and its clear to me, I don’t regret one thing. I wish that time would just slow down, and rewind. 

Did you know you have a special way of turning around my terrible days? You make all the bad things go away, the second that you say… hello. It's the way that you talk, that you laugh, that you smile. If beauty was inches you'd go on for miles. It's the way that you make everything seem worth while the second that you say… hello. It's the way every love song reminds me of you. Along with the stars and the sunset here too. It's the way that you make the sky seem more blue, the second that you say ..hello. So if love is a drug then i guess i'm addicted. All i want is to have yours. It's making my heart sick. Goodbye is what broke it and you were what fixed it, the second that you said… hello.

I’ve been waiting for so long, for these words to come out, its practically all I’ve been thinking about, so thank you for finding the words I couldn’t find on my own, now im not alone.

Miss Literate;

When your heart is getting heavy and your eyes are tearing up, and you think there's nothing left for you to love, maybe think about the story about the spider and the raindrops.. Where would the spider be if he gave up?

I've done my research. Turns out, theres 14 meanings to define what love is, and thats only the nouns, theres also 14 verbs.. yet, whos to say love even exists. I guess its another one of those things that you believe, 'just beacuse'. Its just another one of those things that you just have to be optimistic about. On the other hand, loyalty is a completely different story. Seems to be only 3 deffinitions, does this mean its less promising? Maybe its another one of those things, you just have to get your head around and believe, just because. And then of course theres faith, which seems to be alot more assuring with a total of 8 descriptions. 3 words; all being so different, but so similar in the one aspect, which of course, is truth. If you dont have truth, honesty, whats the point, of anything really.

Take me away, i need the sand and the waves, the sunset, and lets not forget them warm autum days. I just need to get out of here. Theres got to be, something else out there for me, i could feel it in my heart, the day i started to dream. Theres more then this mid western town, i cant let this place keep me down.

Stay true, to you.

Maybe i could fly away; to a better place. Or maybe im seeing things from the wrong perspective; maybe this really is a great place, im just not seeing the good in the bad.

This life, is just a figment of my imagaination. But i wont give up.

I've sat here in front of the computer for about the last hour, thinking of what emotions are worth to express. I think, I just don’t want to think, about anything really, especially relating to her. But it seems as though she wont leave me in peace, is like her revenge isn’t good enough, the situations we've both been through isn’t an even battle, she’s constantly on my back. She honestly makes me want to jump off a bridge, but not in a digressional way, but as a way to escape her brutal words. She’s the one that makes me want to leave this world, just for a short period, because maybe by the time i return, she would've gone back to where ever she came from, which would honestly be a great thing. I’m so against arguing, curtly, abuse, bullying.. This is killing me, She honestly makes me so, ahh!

I truly believe she’s here to make the small amount of self-esteem I have, go through the floor, its almost as if she was put here, to take me away. When I think about it, which seems to be always, it makes me think, she’s the reason I cant sleep most nights. And that sounds like the beginning of a love story, but its the complete opposite, she makes me not want to close my eyes, not because I miss her by my side, but because she haunts my thoughts, takes away my pride.

She was that girl, that just her smile, made everythingfeel worth it. The level of respect i felt for her, was crazy.. Now, I am just disappointed, and what hurts the most, is the fact that I’ve lowered to her level, its just not me. The worst thing about it, is the fact I’ve chosen her as a topic to discuss with the world, but I just cant help it, this feeling, I cant obtain any longer, I cant keep it hidden away in my chest, the pounding she creates; I just can handle it anymore. Its gotten to the stage, where im concerned that my ribs wont be able to support this throbbing for much longer. I don’t know who I am anymore, everything that I thought made me ‘me’, is slowly slipping away, which is horrible, because once its all gone, you really do have nothing.

But that brings me to my next topic; about not needing anyone, not wanting anything.. just being happy with life in general. No cherries required, no kiss on the cheek, just being in the existence of this world, it’s a great feeling. I like finding those lines, that are there to be crossed, and walking past those people, with that incredible smile, that they share with the world, day in, day out. The ones you walk past in the mall, and they smile at you like you’ve known each other you entire life. Those kind of people, make you have some form of faith, some sort of belief, that everything happens for a reason.

In the end,
I refuse to let the past detract me from greatness. There's a pack of wolves biting at my ankles, but i haven't stopped running yet.

Things really do, never change.

Jeremy Ashida - Things Never Change
Todays the day that I will see you fall Yet the thought remains of how I lingered along. Your telling me that there was nothing to see at all. Yet there I lay awake and sleepless at night. The push and pull it made you cross a fine line. And now your speaking out of turn when you (finally) called. If nothing else should come from you. Well I hope that you see this too. Your finding out today. That no one knows your name. No one knows your name. I'm finding out today.you're the one to blame you're the one to blame and things they never change now your're working growing big in your mind your breaking hearts and standing tall till you find you're seeing now that everything that was great will fallim in your town, yeah I miss you bit but everything you did is hard to forgetand when you think of me you know you coulda had it all and nothing else will come from you and ill be strong, ill make it through. Your finding out today. that no one knows your name. No one knows your name I'm finding out today. you're the one to blame, you're the one to blame....

Just because your privileged doesn’t make you entitled.

CYBER BULLYING!
IT KILLS Liturally.
In geelong, Victoria, 4 Girls in high school recently have committed suicide as a way to escape the brutal words of low life teenagers eating away the self esteem of their peers. Why are so many people, so low?No one has a good enough reason to bully someone so much to reach the stage of the words actually taking another life, in fact, no one has a good enough reason to bully others in the first place. What’s the point, all that it does is causes unneeded issues, it strips people of self-confidence, makes them question their worth, and is linked to depression, anxiety, insomnia and a drop in social and academic skills.Honestly, what is the world coming to? There are so many issues in the world, that just cant be comprehended, and sadly, they cant be fixed. There are people all over the world fighting for survival, fighting for rights to be accepted as a human being. There are people getting shot day in, day out. People starving, until all that’s left of them is their bones. Children with no parents, no one to look after them, care for them, or even love them. Yet, so many people, still find the urge to bully, I just don’t understand. It is almost as if the world isn’t messed up enough, its like they need to make someone feel that little less good about themselves. People bully other people to make the victim’s hopes drop, in an attempt to make their own self-esteem rise. Calling people names, threatening them, abusing them or even stalking them, why is it needed in this world? Calling someone a fat whale, a coward, a pig; it doesn’t prove anything. The victim most likely already has self-esteem issues, why push and push to make it worse.Cyber bullying is lower then face-to-face bullying. If you’re going to attempt to bully an innocent soul, why not do it face-to-face, have the nerve, the guts. Don’t be so low, low enough to hop on your computer, or grab your phone, and decide to make someone’s life that little bit less enjoyable.Wake up to yourself,What are you trying to prove.Ps: no, I’m not currently being bullied, but I have strong opinions on life, and the tragedy that’s recently occurred in Victoria really makes you realise, that’s its not worth it. When I see what goes on at my school, it really does make you realise, its happening all over the world, you never know who could be next.Don’t take another person’s life; they have just as much right to be here, as you do.Every 18 minutes somebody die from a suicide, Every 43 seconds somebody attempts one.Save Their Souls, before its to late.

Where each road takes us;

Today, was a great day. Lately i've been having some issues with life, trying to work out whats worth it, whos worth it, and what roads i want to take. I got to the point, where i just didnt care any more, about anything really.. butt today i set goals, in which im going to try my best to strive towards and achieve. Playing games, not caring, doing whatever you please; its all great, but in the end, the time you waste, you can never replace. I'm going to make something out of this hardship, i'll do what it takes, and fix what breaks.. Because in the end, i know it'll be worth it.

To make this blog page, it took alottaa brain strength. Shout out to my amazing josiee, for helping me :)
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